from theuspits.com...... little humor even though i had no idea where to put this... hope you guys enjoy it :)

Aero: Indicator on a road course that tells Cup drivers which way to turn

Aero Push: When a car knocks down the indicator

Air Dam: Cussing at the wind

Air pressure: Gas pains

Apron: A bib for Jimmy Spencer

Back Marker: A Sharpie for autographing body parts

Black Flag: A must in your track bag for those buggy night races

Balance: What you lose when you get tight. (See definition below)

Banking: A foreign science to most NASCAR fans, but a favorite pastime of the France Family and Bruton Smith

Bite: What you do to your $6.00 hot dog

Boogity: Don't ask! You don't want to know

Bud Shootout: Any on-track altercation with the #8 car

Catch fence: Supposedly there to keep cars out of the grandstand, but can't even contain hot dog wrappers

Caution: (pronounced cow-shun) an undefined animal part, similar to a "nugget"

Chase for the Championship: Synonym for play-off

Chassis: Complimentary term for a female body

Conspiracy theory: The reason your favorite driver didn't win

Cooler: What the track is at night

Crew: A 1950's haircut

Crewchief: The barber who gives you a crew

Darby, John: Leprechaun in charge of NASCAR shenanigans

Dirty Air: Often produced by flatulence

Down force: What every driver claims to have happened when he goes below the yellow line on a restrictor plate track

Draft: An $8.00 beer at the track

Drafting: What the bartender is doing after you order a draft

Drag: The preferred method of removing a crippled car from the track

EIRI Rule (Except In Rare Instances): NASCAR's butt-cover for every rule they forgot to make at the beginning of the year

Fabricator: Storyteller

Firewall: Pit road after a gas spill

France, Brian: Rich kid with a new toy to break

Front Clip: Just trim the bangs

Frozen field: Acreage at the South Pole

Fuel Cell: Gasoline powered telephone

Groove: What Stella lost

HANS device: A thingamajig used for transporting silver skates

Happy Hour: The one in which you finally make it from parking lot to highway (usually about the fourth)

Hunter, Jim: Official fabricator of NASCAR

Infield: Talladega's answer to Mardi Gras

Inner-liner: The food you eat before you start drinking the $8.00 drafts

"It is what it is": "Shut up! It's my game and I get to make up the rules"

Kitty litter: Debris from the Cat car

Loose: Most gals wearing beads in the Talladega infield

Marbles: What drivers lose after about three head injuries (Your results may vary)

Neutral: Neither Feminine nor Masculine

Over Steer: Similar to bull riding

Nelson, Gary: The NASCAR version of OSHA

Pace car: The one that leads the most laps at Bristol

Pit road: That area of the track with a speed limit 20 mph slower than the road just outside the track

Pole: Anyone whose name ends in "ski"

Pole-sitter: Any of the above who never stands during a race

Pushy-loose: An assault on one of the gals wearing beads in the Dega infield

Quarter Panel: One fourth of a jury

Race Trim: This usually takes the form of very expensive advertising on the hood of the car

Rear Clip: Just take a little off the back

Restrictor Plate: The metal walls at Pocono that keep the cars out of the woods

Road Course: According to Jimmy Spencer, a great place to test bombs

Roof Flaps: Arguments atop any hauler

SAFER Barrier: A better condom

Scuffs: The slippers Richard Childress wears while "relaxing."

Set-up: What the bar at Club E always is

Silly Season: February through December

Smith, Bruton: Someone you'll never see in the same room with Boss Hogg

Spoiler: Either parent of any whining young driver

Spotter: A car leaking oil on the track

Stagger: What you do after three $8.00 drafts if you neglected your inner-liner

Stickers: Those pesky hot dog wrappers in grills

Tars: Four round rubber things that make the car go faster. (Alternative for New Englanders: "tyahs")

Telemetry: Executive toys

Tight: Almost ready to "stagger"

Track bar: The place where you buy the $8.00 drafts that make you tight

Under steer: Looking up at a bovine

Valance: A topper for curtains

Wedge: Fitting a 40" butt into an 18" seat in the grandstand

Whine: An excellent choice with aged cheese

Whining driver: One who considers himself above the beer scene

Wind Tunnel: Where flatulence originates